I originally chose not to share my name or face with readers due to circumstances which put me at risk for legal harassment from individuals who live in close proximity to my location. By chance, I have been a witness for the defense in more than one domestic case. I wrote extensively about the worst one. The blog was up for over a year, when the actual abuser, a vexatious litigant, found the posts. She harassed me, my commenters, and the moderators of the site where the posts were published until the moderators opted to censor my work.
I allowed the censorship to occur unchallenged because, as a vexatious litigant, the woman protesting the posts was likely to start throwing lawsuits. Rather than ask the site mods to stick their necks out for me, I decided to take a step back and reassess and rework my writing. This blog is the result. Since it stemmed from a limited, specific series of posts, future writing may be sparse. I do not promise to regularly or frequently post to this blog. As related issues strike a nerve, when I have something to say, I'll say it here. When I don't, there won't be new posts. In the meantime, I've recounted the details of the case that got me started in an A Voice For Men article titled Seven years in hell.
Recently, due to other circumstances also involving a local case, remaining anonymous became a moot point, so here goes:
My name is Hannah Wallen. I am female, middle-aged, and married to a divorcee, with children from both marriages. My relationships with males include family, (my husband, brothers, father, father-in-law, son, grandparents, and cousins) friends, professional contacts, and former dating relationships, some of which evolved into continuing friendship (and as generally goes in life, some of which did not.)
I've witnessed female-on-male abuse in many of my relationships, and a lot of injustice in the court system related to some of these conflicts.
My husband was subjected to physical and psychological abuse by his ex-wife. Following their divorce, the psychological abuse continued for more than a decade, until she no longer had the power to affect him. She also subjected him to parental alienation and slander. Beyond that, the ex has lied, cheated, and stolen to manipulate the child support system in order to extort money from my family. Nothing was done to enforce her legal limitations and responsibilities. Statutes and regulations were ignored in order to artificially increase his limitations and responsibilities. We are now slowly and painfully recovering from the financial hardships caused by the long-term support obligation, combined with the discrimination I faced at my first place of employment in the community where I live in response to my involvement in the case discussed in the Seven years in hell article.
A friend and colleague of mine is physically smaller and lighter weight than his ex-wife. Prior to their divorce, she not only used to beat on him with fists and feet, she also used to throw heavy knick-knacks, small appliances and light fixtures at him. Even after witnessing the behavior, our other friends and contacts did not label her actions abuse, because she's female and he's male. I was criticized for labeling her actions abuse on the basis that in doing so, I was "betraying my sex."
Another friend was convicted of assault for failing to leave a clear path for his assailant to strike him with a weapon a second time. Because he blocked the second blow, he was labeled the aggressor in their incident, and now has a record of felonious assault. His attacker, a stranger, was never charged.
A college classmate was charged with domestic abuse for cowering on the floor and covering his head. His ex severely injured him after finding out she could not make the same claims as a cohabitant would be able to make following a breakup. The guy suffered injuries which required medical treatment. He had records of medical testing, treatment, and expenses to use as evidence in the case. She had "I'm a girl." He was convicted. She was never charged. He appealed and won, but it was expensive, and he was never able to recover his expenses.
I have seen several male friends subjected to false allegations of domestic abuse. Three occurred in conjunction with custody cases. I was present as a witness for two of those cases. Both of those cases grew into circumstances of vexatious litigation by the children's mothers in attempts to manipulate the family court system against the children's fathers. One of those cases lasted over six years. The other is ongoing, with activity waxing and waning depending on the mood of the psychotic ex. In the Seven years in hell case, with which I was more involved due to proximity, the vexatious litigant was repeatedly caught filing false charges and perjuring herself, publicly exhibited violent fits of rage, and stalked her ex, members of his family, and to a lesser extent, all of his other witnesses, all with impunity from the court because she had the backing of a domestic abuse victim's advocate organization.
I could go on with descriptions of discrimination and abuse faced by other males among my family and friends, but I think the reader can all ready see from this list the main influences on the viewpoint from which this blog is written. I am not a lawyer, nor of any other profession in the legal industry. In the court of life, I'm a witness. Just as you don't let your witness argue your case for you, don't try to make this blog your source of legal advice. If you face issues or circumstances you recognize in the text here, seek the help of an actual attorney.
I allowed the censorship to occur unchallenged because, as a vexatious litigant, the woman protesting the posts was likely to start throwing lawsuits. Rather than ask the site mods to stick their necks out for me, I decided to take a step back and reassess and rework my writing. This blog is the result. Since it stemmed from a limited, specific series of posts, future writing may be sparse. I do not promise to regularly or frequently post to this blog. As related issues strike a nerve, when I have something to say, I'll say it here. When I don't, there won't be new posts. In the meantime, I've recounted the details of the case that got me started in an A Voice For Men article titled Seven years in hell.
Recently, due to other circumstances also involving a local case, remaining anonymous became a moot point, so here goes:
My name is Hannah Wallen. I am female, middle-aged, and married to a divorcee, with children from both marriages. My relationships with males include family, (my husband, brothers, father, father-in-law, son, grandparents, and cousins) friends, professional contacts, and former dating relationships, some of which evolved into continuing friendship (and as generally goes in life, some of which did not.)I've witnessed female-on-male abuse in many of my relationships, and a lot of injustice in the court system related to some of these conflicts.
My husband was subjected to physical and psychological abuse by his ex-wife. Following their divorce, the psychological abuse continued for more than a decade, until she no longer had the power to affect him. She also subjected him to parental alienation and slander. Beyond that, the ex has lied, cheated, and stolen to manipulate the child support system in order to extort money from my family. Nothing was done to enforce her legal limitations and responsibilities. Statutes and regulations were ignored in order to artificially increase his limitations and responsibilities. We are now slowly and painfully recovering from the financial hardships caused by the long-term support obligation, combined with the discrimination I faced at my first place of employment in the community where I live in response to my involvement in the case discussed in the Seven years in hell article.
A friend and colleague of mine is physically smaller and lighter weight than his ex-wife. Prior to their divorce, she not only used to beat on him with fists and feet, she also used to throw heavy knick-knacks, small appliances and light fixtures at him. Even after witnessing the behavior, our other friends and contacts did not label her actions abuse, because she's female and he's male. I was criticized for labeling her actions abuse on the basis that in doing so, I was "betraying my sex."
Another friend was convicted of assault for failing to leave a clear path for his assailant to strike him with a weapon a second time. Because he blocked the second blow, he was labeled the aggressor in their incident, and now has a record of felonious assault. His attacker, a stranger, was never charged.
A college classmate was charged with domestic abuse for cowering on the floor and covering his head. His ex severely injured him after finding out she could not make the same claims as a cohabitant would be able to make following a breakup. The guy suffered injuries which required medical treatment. He had records of medical testing, treatment, and expenses to use as evidence in the case. She had "I'm a girl." He was convicted. She was never charged. He appealed and won, but it was expensive, and he was never able to recover his expenses.
I have seen several male friends subjected to false allegations of domestic abuse. Three occurred in conjunction with custody cases. I was present as a witness for two of those cases. Both of those cases grew into circumstances of vexatious litigation by the children's mothers in attempts to manipulate the family court system against the children's fathers. One of those cases lasted over six years. The other is ongoing, with activity waxing and waning depending on the mood of the psychotic ex. In the Seven years in hell case, with which I was more involved due to proximity, the vexatious litigant was repeatedly caught filing false charges and perjuring herself, publicly exhibited violent fits of rage, and stalked her ex, members of his family, and to a lesser extent, all of his other witnesses, all with impunity from the court because she had the backing of a domestic abuse victim's advocate organization.
I could go on with descriptions of discrimination and abuse faced by other males among my family and friends, but I think the reader can all ready see from this list the main influences on the viewpoint from which this blog is written. I am not a lawyer, nor of any other profession in the legal industry. In the court of life, I'm a witness. Just as you don't let your witness argue your case for you, don't try to make this blog your source of legal advice. If you face issues or circumstances you recognize in the text here, seek the help of an actual attorney.
