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Feminists don't hate men?

I am so sick of hearing that feminists don't hate men.
Every fucking conversation about feminists not hating men:

"Feminists don't hate men!"

Good, then you're willing to abandon your gender-based rape culture theory that demonizes all men as rapacious animals based on the word of a feminist who had the fucking nerve to say it's not rape when a woman forces unwanted sex on a man?

"No, and you're a misogynist for asking! Rape is a gendered attack on women! Women can't be rapists!"

Well, how about if we talk about the plight of male victims of domestic violence committed by their female partners?

"No, and you're a misogynist for asking! Domestic violence is a gendered attack on women! It doesn't matter when it happens to men."

Male suicide?

"No, and you're a misogynist for asking! Why should it matter how many men die from it when women attempt suicide far more than men do?"

Workplace death?

"No, and you're a misogynist for asking! You're just trying to distract attention from the real issue of the gender-based gap in earnings! Men's deaths are nothing compared to the terrible discrimination of paying women less for the same work"

But if men are doing the high-risk jobs and dying, and women aren't, is that the same work?


Well, at least you can acknowledge that the practice of involuntary genital cutting on children is wrong no matter which gender, right?

"No, and you're a misogynist for asking! Intactivism is for girls! Bringing up boys is just a distraction from the issue of how much worse it is to do to a girl!"

Well, what about children's right to a relationship with both parents? Surely you can support that.

"No, and you're a misogynist for asking! Fathers are deadbeats and abusers, and children must be protected from them!"

Okay, what about the problem of boys being left behind in the education system's progress?

"No, and you're a misogynist for asking! Girls need to be given an advantage because of male privilege!"

So feminists do hate men.

"No, you misogynist! We don't hate men, just toxic masculinity!"

What's toxic masculinity?

"[insert genderless dysfunction here]"

Women do that too.

"It's not the same, and you're a misogynist for thinking it is!"


"Women's actions don't matter because women are oppressed, you misogynist!"


"Bad things happen to women. Only a misogynist wouldn't know that proves women are oppressed!"

Bad things happen to men, too!

"It's worse when they happen to women, you misogynist!"


"Because women are oppressed, you misogynist!"

...and that's where it descends into the Patriarchal oppression circular reasoning spiral which, in the end, still proves only that feminists do, in fact, hate men.

Bad things are only bad when men do them, and only bad when they happen to women. Men are in control of all the bad things, and women are helpless against them. Men's intentions are always nefarious. Women's intentions are always benign at worst and more often benevolent. Women's side of every interaction with men involves being manipulated, forced, or otherwise having their action caused by men... while men's side of the interaction constitutes some kind of theft or other wrongful intrusion. Therefore, women's issues are all men's fault, and are the only important issues to address and remedy.
All because Patriarchy, which is always offered as proof of itself.

But that's not hateful, is it?

1 comment:

Percival said...

Hi Hannah,

It’s really neat to reflect on your post just after I finished watching Erin Pizzey on the Fireside Chat, and especially her points about violence and anger not being a gendered issue, but originating in childhood trauma. I suspect that a big part of the misandry amongst radical feminists is rooted in misdirected anger. Perhaps some of them actually came to the conclusion on their own that the patriarchy is the ultimate cause of their misery; however, I’d guess that the majority just couldn’t fathom the causes—if not the reality or experience entirely—of their abuse. They were floundering in despair, and found a huge relief when they encountered feminist theory, which supplied an explanation and an easy target. Anger is their maladaptive coping mechanism to prevent the abysmal despair of total victimhood, but of course, it will never set them free.

I say this as someone who’s experienced a lot of these issues myself and who currently copes with a personality disorder (either borderline or a form of narcissism—the psychiatrists aren’t totally sure). Though SJW antics (and bullies in general) usually trigger me, I can perceive the same patterns behaviour in them. I do think Karen’s conjecture that many of them are borderlines is accurate.

It was also great seeing you again in Vancouver. Your answer to my question about feminism and money in academia gave me a lot to think about.


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