By accessing this blog, you agree to the following terms:

Nothing you see here is intended or offered as legal advice. The author is not an attorney. These posts have been written for educational and information purposes only. They are not legal advice or professional legal counsel. Transmission of the information is not intended to create, and receipt does not constitute, a lawyer-client relationship between this blog, the author, or the publisher, and you or any other user. Subscribers and readers should not act, or fail to act, upon this information without seeking professional counsel.

This is not a safe space. I reserve the right to write things you may agree or disagree with, like or dislike, over which you may feel uncomfortable or angry, or which you may find offensive. I also don't speak for anyone but myself. These are my observations and opinions. Don't attribute them to any group or person whose name isn't listed as an author of a post on this blog.

Reading past this point is an acknowledgement and acceptance of the above terms.

Why the hell would you want to do that?

Just a short note - recently I've been seeing backlinks in my page views to google searches on the topic of whether it's alright to contact someone or visit someone after taking out a restraining order against him. (Yes, all of the searches I've seen have referred to a him.)   

For the record, no, it's not. 

You have no reason, and no right. When you took out a restraining order, that's a court order for him to have no contact with you, and remain a specific distance away from you. If you initiate contact of any kind, you're not only sending a mixed message (stay away from me! Except when I don't want you to, which could be at any time...) and inflicting the emotional pain associated with that mixed message, you're placing him at risk of arrest and prosecution for violating the order, even though he has made no move to do so, and even if you don't want him prosecuted. 
In short, if you have  restraining order against another person, and you initiate contact anyway, you are now the abuser.

In doing so, you demonstrate that you never needed the restraining order in the first place.

So for those searching to see if it's okay, no. You had your say, made your point, got your way, and it's been signed by a judge. Your court order saying he has to leave you alone goes both ways.

You've ordered him to get over you. You'd better be prepared to get over him, too.

No comments:

With one click... help hungry and homeless veterans. The Veterans Site.

google-site-verification: googlefdd91f1288e37cb4.html